Worlds of Pain: Thoughts on Virtual Jealousy
A recent conversation with my Mistress began with Her saying, "There's something you should know about, and I wanted you to hear it from me first." Now, this is not a promising beginning to a conversation, and I won't deny sweating a little during the moments during which my Mistress typed the next sentence and dropped the bomb: "I developed a new [Second Life commercial object], and for the vendor image for it, I took a picture that featured me and [Her male business partner] S."
That was it, the bomb that wasn't a bomb. My Mistress appeared in a commercial picture to be used in a vendor with another avatar and was concerned for my feelings. I appreciate Her sensitivity to my feelings--still more evidence of what a great Mistress I have. And yet, Her concern aside, I felt not even a twinge of jealousy. The only thing close to a negative feeling I felt was a bit of envy: I wanted to be in the picture too! But I certainly didn't feel threatened, neglected, or cheated on.
That this concern--She did something (posing in the picture) that She felt was appropriate, but then worried that I might be hurt, when in fact it didn't bother me at all--was even raised was possible because there are no established standards of fidelity, and so on in virtual spaces. If my RL boyfriend appeared in a romantic-looking picture for commercial purposes, there are a lot of ways we might handle that, but no one would think I was nuts if I had some discomfort with that. But what sort of fidelity is owed to me by my virtual Mistress (and vice-versa)?
My Mistress was concerned, because a friend of Hers had complained that her in-world partner appeared in a romantic pose with another avatar. For Her friend, this picture was a violation of the fidelity of their relationship. For me, the picture in question was my Mistress marketing a creative product of Hers. For her friend, real life romantic issues were tangled with the in-world romantic issues. My Mistress and I have a strictly virtual relationship; She is happily married in real life, while I am very happily boyfriended in real life.
So far so good. But then I started asking myself "what if" questions. After some reflection (and I did need to think about it), I decided I probably would have some issues if my Mistress were to take another submissive (this is strictly hypothetical; I don't expect Her ever to do so, as long as I am Hers). At first, I thought that in this hypothetical scenario, perhaps I could just ask Her to talk to me about why She wanted to do this and what its value was for Her. Then, I would try to understand it from Her perspective and deal with it that way. Well, that would be very generous of me, but I have serious doubts that I could really pull it off. So I guess there is a line. But posing in pictures for commerce is way, way on this side of it.
That was it, the bomb that wasn't a bomb. My Mistress appeared in a commercial picture to be used in a vendor with another avatar and was concerned for my feelings. I appreciate Her sensitivity to my feelings--still more evidence of what a great Mistress I have. And yet, Her concern aside, I felt not even a twinge of jealousy. The only thing close to a negative feeling I felt was a bit of envy: I wanted to be in the picture too! But I certainly didn't feel threatened, neglected, or cheated on.
That this concern--She did something (posing in the picture) that She felt was appropriate, but then worried that I might be hurt, when in fact it didn't bother me at all--was even raised was possible because there are no established standards of fidelity, and so on in virtual spaces. If my RL boyfriend appeared in a romantic-looking picture for commercial purposes, there are a lot of ways we might handle that, but no one would think I was nuts if I had some discomfort with that. But what sort of fidelity is owed to me by my virtual Mistress (and vice-versa)?
My Mistress was concerned, because a friend of Hers had complained that her in-world partner appeared in a romantic pose with another avatar. For Her friend, this picture was a violation of the fidelity of their relationship. For me, the picture in question was my Mistress marketing a creative product of Hers. For her friend, real life romantic issues were tangled with the in-world romantic issues. My Mistress and I have a strictly virtual relationship; She is happily married in real life, while I am very happily boyfriended in real life.
So far so good. But then I started asking myself "what if" questions. After some reflection (and I did need to think about it), I decided I probably would have some issues if my Mistress were to take another submissive (this is strictly hypothetical; I don't expect Her ever to do so, as long as I am Hers). At first, I thought that in this hypothetical scenario, perhaps I could just ask Her to talk to me about why She wanted to do this and what its value was for Her. Then, I would try to understand it from Her perspective and deal with it that way. Well, that would be very generous of me, but I have serious doubts that I could really pull it off. So I guess there is a line. But posing in pictures for commerce is way, way on this side of it.
posted by Allecto Brissot at 5:45 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home