A Sense of Protection

In my previous post, I described the end of my relationship with Ms. M. Originally, when I first heard that she had removed me from her friends list, but regretted it, I thought about how I might handle or even bring about a reconciliation. I thought about those parts of our conflict for which I was responsible, and I thought about her responsibility as well. I wondered what exactly I wanted by way of a resolution. Resumption of our prior friendship? A more tentative, probationary friendship where we rebuilt our trust?

I shared this episode with my Mistress. As I laid it out in chat, my intention was to ask Her to allow me to deal with it. On some level, I feel like I should clean up my own messes, and I don't want to burden Her with them.

But this is not what occurred.

For even while I was laying out the sequence of events to Her, She was already contacting Ms. M. via IM. By the time I got around to saying I would like to handle it myself, it was already more or less handled. This outcome surprised me, but it shouldn't have.

First, because I am a sub, if anyone has a conflict with me, they should take it up with my Mistress (this is BDSM 101). In fact, to not take it up with my Mistress is an insult to Her as well as me.

Second, when I get into trouble, it is my Mistress' job to deal with it, not mine. In a way, She is my advocate, because my behavior reflects on Her. She has every right to discipline me, as She deems appropriate, in private (or even in public). However, any conflict I have with another person immediately becomes Her conflict.

Of course, this also means that once a situation is resolved to Her satisfaction, She also tells me how to handle it. In this case, She has asked me to desist all communication with Ms. M., even if she approaches me, on the grounds that she seems to cause me more pain than anything else. At first I was a bit surprised by this turn of events. But I admit I find comfort in the protection and am quite willing to accept it as-is.